One Word: Stay

Before I heard anything about One Word 365 I knew what my word would be for 2013. Nine months later, I don’t remember how it came to me, but I knew it would require tenacity.

My word for this year is stay.

Stay

I love the Hebrew translation: to lean on, trust in {God}, support. When God gave me this word I knew this would be a year of continually leaning on and trusting in Him. My feet felt shaky beneath me. But the truth is, I didn’t know the Hebrew translation when the word was given to me. My understanding was much more literal.

… Stay where you are.

… Stay when it is awkward and uncomfortable.

… Stay, do not run away.

… Stay with the pain. He will be revealed in it.

… Stay, plant your feet in this place because there is work to be done.

In other words, Selah. Pause here and think on this. 

“Stay? For an entire year?” I resigned and let the word sink into me. But I have been hesitant to speak of it to anyone. In Christian society it’s not acceptable to stay in one place for a year. I was afraid of being misunderstood, that people who care about me would conclude I am assuming a passive position that would lead to staleness and stagnation. I was afraid of criticism or carefully worded correction. So I embraced the word privately.

In this place, I have been anything but passive. When the “fight or flight” instinct kicks in, I must consciously choose to fight. Running away, or “flying” has been my default in years past. I’m very good at distracting, avoiding, and numbing myself so I don’t have to feel pain. To stay here with my feet planted means that I can’t run away from what I feel. This is not a position of wallowing. I am reaching for all the tools at my disposal to fight effectively. I’ve been doing ministry with a friend to get to the root of things purposefully and intentionally. I’m facing things I would rather not face and it involves a lot of hard work. But staying is not without fruit. For every lie that is faced and conquered, truth rises up in its place.

It’s hard to stay and not feel like you are falling behind. I’m nine months into this year and I’m just coming to realize and accept that my journey looks completely different from the people around me. And that’s okay. Your experience, your journey, does not invalidate mine. So if you pass me by? I will send you with a blessing, and I will stay. I will stay here, leaning on and trusting in the God who holds us each right where we are.

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3 thoughts on “One Word: Stay

  1. One particular story comes to me often when I’m trying to fight a battle where I need to sit back and let God do my fighting. II Samuel 5:22-25

    22 And the Philistines came up yet again, and spread themselves in the valley of Rephaim.

    23 And when David enquired of the Lord, he said, Thou shalt not go up; but fetch a compass behind them, and come upon them over against the mulberry trees.

    24 And let it be, when thou hearest the sound of a going in the tops of the mulberry trees, that then thou shalt bestir thyself: for then shall the Lord go out before thee, to smite the host of the Philistines.

    25 And David did so, as the Lord had commanded him; and smote the Philistines from Geba until thou come to Gazer.

    David’s been faithfully fighting for awhile, especially now that he reigns on the throne he was anointed for yet fleed Saul’s spear for a decade surrounded by the meanest, ugliest, surliest soldiers in all Israel. At times, things got so bad they talked of killing David and he didn’t have a friend in the world. That’s when another favorite comes in, I Samuel 30:6 And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.

    So if you’re struggling, sometimes you DO need to sit back and trust the Lord to fight on your behalf. Staying where you are until He gives you the go-ahead isn’t passivity, it’s obedience.

  2. Stay is a good word, Rebekah… and I love your name, by the way! I just met you in the Story community and I’m glad to read your blog. I’ve been good at numbing my heart, too, and boy is it hard to let it melt! Hiding has been my way of life, but no more. If you ever need someone to listen or simply tell you, “You’re gonna be okay…” I’m here for you. I can still use hearing those words, myself… it’s quite a journey, isn’t it?

    Thanks for sharing your heart and having the courage to be so vulnerable! 🙂

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